I have spoken to many women who have not yet given birth to a child and the language surrounding their efforts to become pregnant describes the state of their faith.

As ones’ faith grows so does the language one uses. Initially, the phrase most used is “we are trying” this says that they are doing it in their own strength. Of course it is early days and their faith is yet to be tested. As time goes on it becomes “we are hoping” this is where doubt and uncertainty being to creep in. Faith is being tested during this stage and this is when one can be tempted to take matters into their own hands, or give up. It is only when it becomes “we are believing” that they are totally trusting God and their faith is being exercised. What do your words say about your faith?

^{Hebrews 6:12} that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.

Normally on Mother’s Day I text all my friends and family to wish them a happy day and cheer them on. This year is different. This year my heart is heavy for my friends who are yet to be mom’s.

Praise God, there are some women this year who can finally celebrate being a mom, and there are some who are pregnant for the first time. Congratulations! For you I am especially happy. Yet I am still sad for those who are still waiting, still believing. Those that have been trying for years and on Mother’s Day, the biggest on the list of many, is a constant reminder that still there is no child of their own to love. My impulse is to reach out to you and encourage you but you know, as do I, no words suffice.

Yes, I have son who is 7 ½ years old whom I love dearly and am forever grateful for him. However, this too is a reminder that it happened once so why not a second time. He has many friends who have little brothers or sisters and he regularly asks, “Mom, when is my baby brother going to be here?”

Many people assume because someone has only one child that that was their plan. However, many women, for some mysterious reason, are not able to conceive subsequent children.  I too am surrounded by people who are getting pregnant and having babies as easy as breathing. The baby showers and visiting new the moms, while exciting and amazing, on some days can be overwhelming and just too hard.

But I know God has a purpose for this season and only He can satisfy the disappointment associated with barrenness. God, You know all things, touch that place in our hearts that only You can reach. As Hannah cried out to You Lord, hear our prayer today and bless us with the children we desire. Fill us with overwhelming joy and expectation while we wait on Your timing. Help us to be prisoners of hope in You today Lord. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen!

In the first chapter of Luke we look at the what God does for Elizabeth and Mary. Both experience miracles in relation to pregnancy. In Elizabeth’s case, we read that she was barren and both she and her husband are way beyond child baring age. With Mary, we read that she is a virgin and that even though she would remain a virgin she was chosen by God to give birth to our Savior Jesus.

When the angel (Gabriel) appeared to Mary and told her that she was the chosen one Mary questioned him. He responded with, “the Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you” then he told her the news of her relative Elizabeth’s pregnancy. Now indeed, Elizabeth your relative has also conceived a son in her old age; and this is now the sixth month for her who was called barren.

Can you imagine being told that you would be the mother of the Savior of the World and then immediately afterward that your barren relative was 6 months pregnant? What a day!

But why was Elizabeth barren? Why now was she pregnant? God knew that Mary would need a witness to His miraculous power in the area of pregnancy. Mary knew Elizabeth and she would have known the heartache and struggle aka “reproach” that Elizabeth had experienced because she had not given birth to a son.

The scripture following is astounding, “For with God nothing will be impossible.” Luke 1:37

How amazing is God? The scripture immediately following the unexpected news of Elizabeth’s pregnancy confirms God’s power and ability to make what is impossible for man, possible. Not to mention His purpose for Elizabeth barrenness.

God put that scripture there for each and every one of us that needs encouragement about His miraculous power in the area of pregnancy.

Who needs your witness to believe for the impossible in their lives? Who can you encourage with God’s word and His promises?

Sarah’s journey begins in Genesis 11:29 where she is mentioned because Abram took her as his wife. In verse 30 it says “But Sarai was barren; she had no child.” Her barrenness is established very early in her marriage.

At the beginning of chapter 12 we see God told Abram to leave his country and He promised to make him a great nation. So Abram took Sarai and Lot (his nephew) to Egypt where he was afraid for his life because she was beautiful. Abram asked Sarai to say she was his sister so the Egyptians would not kill him. We see she was taken into Pharaoh. However, God protected her by sending a plague to Pharaoh and his house because she was Abram’s wife. This did not make Pharaoh happy so he sent them away.

In chapter 15 God establishes His covenant with Abram. Abram has a vision and talks to God about his heir (Eliezer of Damascus – Abrams servant) and being childless. God responds with “This one shall not be your heir, but one who will come from your own body shall be your heir.” At which point Abram believed God and it was counted to him for righteousness.

In chapter 16 Sarai after having waited approximately ten years, tells Abram to go in to her maid Hagar and sleep with her. I can hear Sarai’s argument now; “God did not include me in His original promise to you – your body – your heir I didn’t even get a mention, and besides it is custom that you can take more wives and sleep with my maidservant/s to have offspring. So go get it over with and let’s get this show on the road.” Finally, Abram gives to Sarai’s nagging and sleeps with Hagar. Keep in mind that Hagar had no say in this plan of Sarai’s for her to give birth to their heir.

After Hagar conceived she no longer respected Sarai and this caused a lot of strife between them, with Hagar eventually running away. Note that Hagar got pregnant quite quickly and this must have been very difficult for Sarai given that God had promised and it had been sometime since the promise was given; and not to mention that she was Abrams wife.

An Angel appears to Hagar and tells her to return to Sarai. The Angel then spoke over Hagar and her child, Ishmael (Genesis 16:11-12). Although God blessed Ishmael (Genesis 17:20) he was never part of the original promise and still to this day we live with the tension and strife between the two nations and their offspring. All this because Abram and Sarah acted outside of Gods will to bring about the promise.

Culturally, we in the Western world do not offer our maidservants (if we have them) to our husbands. However, we do need to be very careful how we influence our husbands during our time of barrenness and especially what we say and speak over ourselves and our situations. At times when it takes longer than we want for our prayers to be answered the testing becomes too much for us and we are often tempted to take things into our own hands. When we do the outcomes interfere with Gods plan and the negative implications may plague us for years.

We also need to be very careful of who and what we put our faith in to fulfill our promise. Our destiny is tied up in who and what we believe and what we confess. Hence the reason God changed Abrams name to state the promise whenever his name was spoken.

At the time Ishmael was born Abram was eighty-six years old. The next time God shows up he is ninety-nine years old. In chapter 17 Abram walked with God and God told him what He would do for him. During this exchange God changes his name from Abram (High Father or Patriarch) to Abraham (Father of a Multitude) and says he will become the father of nations. God also changes Sarai’s name which means Argumentative to Sarah which means Princess.

Then God specifically says in Genesis 17:16 “I will bless her and also give you a son by her; then I will bless her, and she shall become the mother of nations; kings of peoples shall be from her.” Abraham questions God and responds by laughing and says in his heart “Shall a child be born to a man who is one hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years old bear a child?” Then he reminds God of Ishmael and God says “No, Sarah your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac…But my covenant I will establish with Isaac, whom Sarah shall bear to you at this set time next year.”  This time God specifically includes Sarah’s name in what he tells Abraham.

Now that Sarah was a Princess and she held a place of honor Abraham treated her the way her new position warranted. This is also a reflection of the redemptive work of God.

Interesting to note both Abraham and Sarah laughed. Genesis 17:17 states “Abraham fell on his face and laughed…” Could Abraham’s laugh be a respectful type laugh one has when joy rises up as a confirmation? Or was it a laugh of disbelief?

As we see in the beginning of chapter 18 the Lord and two angels visit Abraham and Sarah. When Abraham recognized God he said “My Lord, if I have now found favor in Your sight, do not pass on by Your servant?” He was asking God for his promise and notice he used “I” not “we” in reference to the promise. I believe Abraham was taking responsibly for what he and Sarah believed and what they expected God to do at this juncture. He has taken his rightful place as the leader/covering in the marriage and given Sarah her rightful place of honor. The two had finally become one.

Abraham asks permission to serve them and as we pick up the story again in verse 9 we see Sarah’s laugh is very different.    Then they said to him, “Where is Sarah your wife?” (note that God specifically asks for Sarah) So he said, “Here, in the tent.” ¹⁰ And God said, “I will certainly return to you according to the time of life, and behold, Sarah your wife shall have a son.” (Sarah was listening in the tent door which was behind him.) Although God is still speaking to Abraham this is the first time Sarah hears the promise for herself.¹¹ Now Abraham and Sarah were old, well advanced in age; and Sarah had passed the age of childbearing.^{[a] 12} Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, “After I have grown old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?” Now it is Sarah who questions God ¹³ And the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Shall I surely bear a child, since I am old?’

She was looking at her natural condition and her husband’s age not the supernatural ability of God. She was way passed the age of childbearing and having not had a period or ovulated for who knows how long, and keep in mind that it is twenty plus years since the original promise.  No doubt the old argumentative Sarai wanted to raise head and open her mouth and let them know what she thought. God’s rebuke however quietens her old self. ¹⁴ Is anything too hard for the Lord? At the appointed time I will return to you, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.” ¹⁵ But Sarah denied it, saying, “I did not laugh,” for she was afraid. And He said, “No, but you did laugh!”

We can imagine Sarah thinking, now if only God had shown up when He first made the promise maybe, just maybe it would have been possible. We often forget that God’s timing is perfect and that He has a purpose for barrenness as he does for everything.

The entire promise is greater than simply conceiving the child. And we can determine that Sarah’s role within the promise of birthing a son is significant, as she has to carry the child to term whereas Abraham only has to fertilize the seed. Sarah has a promise within the promise WOW!!!

Another fascinating element is that the name Isaac means May God Smile upon Him or He Laughs. What does our laugh say about us? Is it a rejoicing knowing that He who promised is faithful or is it a, you’ve got to be kidding after all this time?

Who do you go to when you are struggling with the fact that you have not had a child? Do you go to God or man? Are you trying to make it happen in your own strength? Every challenge we face is to draw us to God not away from Him. If we are drawn away from Him, we need to check the condition of our heart.

1 John 5:21 says Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.

More often than not the men in the Old Testament had more than one wife. In most cases one wife was unable to conceive while the other was able to conceive easily. One example is in Genesis 30:1-3 Now when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister, and said to Jacob, “Give me children, or else I die!” ² And Jacob’s anger was aroused against Rachel, and he said, “Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?” ³ So she said, “Here is my maid Bilhah; go in to her, and she will bear a child on my knees, that I also may have children by her.”

These passages tell us that Rachel went to her husband (man) and then took things into her own hands (gave her maid to her husband). Was going to man and taking it into her own hands the best solution? Did that move God to open her womb?  God eventually remembered Rachel and opened her womb but not until seven children later; two by Rachel’s maid, two by Leah’s maid and three by Leah.

As frustrating as it is not to have been with child and given birth, the only one who can answer our why is God. Our husbands can’t nor can our friends only God can. One of the exciting things about Rachel’s story is that she gave birth to Joseph. Joseph went on to become the second most powerful man in Egypt. None of the children born to Leah or the maids did anything as amazing as Joseph.

The purpose of every unfavorable condition we face is to draw us closer to God, to increase our faith and establish a greater level of trust in Him.  Are you drawing closer to God, or are you allowing the lack of answered prayer to create a barrenness in your spiritual landscape? As Phil Pringle states in his book Faith (39) If our delight in God begins to fade, our faith will fade too.

My family and I moved to California from New York in 2012 as my husband had been offered a job. Life in New York had a nice ebb & flow. I was an established consultant in the nonprofit sector, I was volunteering at church, and we had great friends and neighbors. Then everything was different and we were starting over in a new city that I didn’t care for too much and I felt “ripped off.” I felt justified in my anger and disappointment. Not to mention blame and judgement – wow what a picture.

It took me a very long time to “settle” and I realized today that my words and attitudes during this time were not always faith filled, nor did I always “delight” in the Lord as I normally had. Two and a half years later my eyes have been opened to see that my attitude and response to this change had created a barrenness in many areas of my life.

We see in 1 Samuel 1:5 – 6 referring to Hannah that the Lord had closed her womb. We see in Genesis 29:31, referring to Leah and Genesis 30:22, referring to Rachel that the Lord opened her womb. These three occasions confirm that God was in the midst of the circumstances. Each of them were barren and each of them had children: Hannah 6 including Samuel (1 Samuel 2:21), Leah 7, and Rachel 2.

The desire to have children is put in our heart by God. Whether God has closed your womb or whether you have created a barrenness, the key here is to delight in Him. His word promises in Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. (NKJV). Therefore, by continuing to delight in Him, regardless of the circumstances will result in answered prayer.